Stoner’s Pizza Joint
A late-night lesson in disappointment—and proof that not all cinnamon sticks are created equal.
It was late and I really didn’t feel like cooking, so I opened UberEats and started looking for something easy. I landed on pizza and happened upon Stoner’s Pizza Joint. I ordered a small “Nice to Meat You” thin crust pizza, cinnamon sticks (called “Sweet Stix”), and a three-pack of peanut butter cookies. My subtotal before any delivery fees was $35.
My expectations were a little high because… it’s pizza. And cinnamon sticks. And peanut butter cookies for a lil dazzle dazzle. What could go wrong? Apparently, everything.
When my order arrived, I was disappointed. Shocked, almost.
The “Sweet Stix” looked like a dog toy: clearly overcooked. I expected fluffy, pillowy cinnamon sticks, but what I got looked like someone cut the crust off an old pizza and tossed it in a box. I didn’t even want to try it, but figured I would, just to report back. One bite and it collapsed like stale pizza crust. Just as I thought: trash. There wasn’t a speck of cinnamon sugar to be found. Just dry, overcooked dough. I thought this would be a late-night treat, but it would’ve been better suited as a snack for a pet.
I moved to the pizza next. Even though I ordered thin crust, I received something doughy and underbaked. It was like it needed another 10 minutes in the oven. The toppings were okay, but the whole thing lacked finesse, inspiration, or even basic care. I ate two slices and tapped out.
At that point, the peanut butter cookies were Stoner’s last shot at redemption.
I’d been craving a peanut butter cookie real bad but didn’t want to commit to a 50-pack from the grocery store. What happened to packaging for single people? And let’s be honest: peanut butter isn’t everybody’s favorite.
So when I saw they offered a three-pack of peanut butter cookies, it felt perfect. What I got was anything but. The cookies were black burnt.
They came in two round baking tins: two in one, one in another. Not the most efficient packaging, but whatever. I already know the Peach and burnt cookies don’t go together, but I tasted one for the plot.
Although they were burnt, they had a soft texture, which tells me they were baked too hot, too fast. One bite in and all I could taste was that burnt flavor. Like overcooked bacon, burnt cookies have no place in my life. So I placed all three back in their excessive containers and dropped the whole thing in the trash. Fitting, because that’s exactly what it was.
Every restaurant I visit gets rated on four key factors. Because a meal isn’t just about the food—it’s about the experience. Here’s how I break it down:
Was It Worth It?
Covers price, quality, and overall satisfaction. Was this meal worth my time, money, and carbs?
Movie Set Vibes
Because eating out is more than just food; it’s a scene. Does it feel like I’m in a movie, living my best life?
Who Dun It?
Was the service extraordinary, or was I just another order number?
Reorder-ability
The real test. Would I run it back or was it a one-and-done?
Each category is rated out of 3 stars (because 5 or 10 stars per category is just overwhelming). At the end of every review, I give my final verdict:
✅ Added to my Good Eats: Atlanta guide.
Only the spots worth a return visit make the cut.
❌ Didn’t make the cut.
Because a restaurant isn’t truly great unless I’m already planning my next visit.
Let’s see how Stoner’s Pizza Joint stacks up:
Was It Worth It? – ⭐️
Technically, yes. Because I got my money back from Uber Eats for this atrocity. But any price for this meal would’ve been too much. I wouldn’t even be paid to eat this again, tbh.
Movie Set Vibes – ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️
I ate the meal at home, and The Oasis is the ultimate movie set vibe. Points for ambiance I created myself.
Who Dun It? – ⭐️
I was gonna skip this one since there was no table service, but whoever put those burnt cookies and those dog treats in my bag, I just wanna talk.
Reorder-ability – ⭐️
Under no circumstance will I order from this place again. I can handle a bad food experience and still be open to a second chance, but the audacity to send food in that condition shows a complete lack of care.
Final Verdict: ❌ Didn’t make the cut.
I mean… I feel like I said everything that needed to be said. Did you really scroll down here thinking it made my prestigious list? Be serious. No lol.